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NaeDiculous

Musings and Hilarity by Renee Sagon

STUCK

 

 

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Do you ever feel stuck? Like you know you have somewhere else you desire to be, but this place you’re in doesn’t seem to be changing any time soon?

Its not that your current place is a bad one. Its actually a good and safe place. You know your way around. Life is dependable and regimented. Honestly, you could survive at this current place, plant flowers here and even have dinner parties. But the greatness in you, is left…wanting.

In your most quiet of moments, you look around yourself, and think- no you KNOW, this is a den of mediocrity  and a cave of complacency.

The warrior in you, has grown lazy and disenchanted. What now? She screams. We are made to battle, to war, to sit at the edge of faith and see miraculous things.

Will we settle for this place?

And where, oh where, do we begin?

 

 

Dear Strong Woman

 

 

 

This is my letter to you, to our daughters, and nieces, and sisters. This is my letter to myself, that sometimes, like rhetoric, I must repeat over and over again to myself:

 

You will at some point in your life have the thought, “I am TOO much”.

I am too strong. I am too loud. I am too big. I am too short. I am too smart. I tell too many jokes. I am too serious. I cry too much.

You will fight the temptation to hunker down. To be less than, so you don’t feel like too much.

You will fight the if only I wasn’t, then they would stay. They would be. We would work.

You will want to ask for less, because they imply you want too much.

But my sister, what is wrong with wanting much? What is wrong with wanting greatness to meet you at greatness?

What is wrong with being the challenge that people must accept rather than meeting someone in mediocrity?

What is wrong with being the fire that transforms than accepting the water that dilutes?

You are not for everyone. Valuable things, almost never are.

If that was the case, we would all be driving a Rolls Royce. We would all be flossed in perfect diamonds.

When you take something of value and make it available to the masses, it loses its rarity. And why would you rather not be rare?

Maybe all the times you thought you were too much. The truth was, THEY couldn’t handle the realm in which you walk in.

Instead of pining and planning for how you can prove yourself to them. Applaud them as they leave. Send them “Thank You” notes for showing that they do not have the capacity to fight the way you deserve to be fought for. Then thank God in heaven for not letting you settle, even if you were so desperate to want to, just so you would have a home.

 

Strong woman, you are perfect. There is nothing wrong with you dear sister. You are amazing, smart and beautiful.  Do not lessen your price with something that doesn’t match your value. You are grace wrapped in a strong back. You are feelings wrapped up in opinions longing to be heard.

In this moment, raise your head. Quit looking back.

Dust your knees off from begging them to stay.

And what is meant for you, will find you.

Plus, queens, never have to beg.

 

 

Warrior or Worrier? #warriorwednesday

Hi friend!
Happy 2016! Crazy right? Was just telling a girlfriend the other day, 2020 is like a blink away. Remember when you were younger and that seemed like Jetson’s time? I have yet to see a flying car, or a house in space, but I’m sure we’re closer than we’ve ever been.

The following are the stages that I have gone through since the end of last year and the beginning of this one:

Stage 1: Excited

I had crazy excitement going in to 2016. This is gonna be my year, I kept telling myself.

This will be the year that I don’t just watch everyone else getting blessed, but I will walk in a new level of blessing too.

Stage 2: Sick

I got sick going into the new year. Thank God I don’t believe in the Filipino superstition that how you spend your new year is going to be the way the rest of the year will be.

I was not to be deterred, coughing and congested, I brought in the new year. THIS IS GOING TO BE MY YEAR

Stage 3: ITS. HITTING. THE . FAN.

And not in the Beyonce hair fan blow in the wind way, but as in. I have been battling since the 31st. Everything has taken a hit, my car (I got a flat last Wednesday), my finances – you name it, I’ve had to pay for it, my confidence (did I really hear You God), my health – let’s not get into it.

I woke up this morning, tired. And I sat on the edge of the bed, giving myself a pep talk. Come on girl, you can do it.

And I didn’t want to.

Stage 4: Unleash the warrior!

Here’s the thing, I have been through quite a bit in my life. Some times the very thing that keeps me going is the fact that I am still breathing.

So I said to myself, “Hey girl,” this is how I speak to myself. “You dead?”

No, no I’m not.

The following is the pep talk I gave myself, and in this moment, I am giving it to you, if you need it.

This is not the worst thing you’ve been through. As long as you have breath you have power.

You know what to do right now, you white knuckle the promises. You declare the GOODNESS of God even when you feel like its far from you. Because as always He is close. He is always present.  God is in the midst of this very minute and hour, so acknowledge Him.

Acknowledge that this thing is bigger than you, and the only thing bigger than IT is God. His very name is victory. He always wins. You are a warrior not a worrier. You are a redeemed Child of God that lives in grace, mercy and victory. WALK IN THAT.

So on this warrior Wednesday, I remind you to rise up. And look at life head on.

Shoulders back.

Head high.

Crown up.

And go get em.

With much love and prayers.

xo

 

 

Happy New Years’ Eve – Single Bells Post 3

 

I, for one, love New Years. It feels fresh.  Since the kids are still little, my family celebrates East Coast New Year – we watch the ball drop at 9PM PT, and kids shortly after get to go to bed.

As the resident single hottie that I am in my family, I usually get dressed and meet my friends wherever they happen to be right after.

I do know several of my single sisters that grapple with the turning of a new year.

Another year, no boyfriend. Not even a potential of a potential of a boyfriend.

Who am I going to kiss at midnight? Maybe I’ll just buy a taco and french kiss the heck out of that mug.

The next question I get asked is: What can I do to be more “dateable”?

My knee jerk reaction is to tell you, “NOTHING! You’re perfect!” Which I think is true. But you’re obviously asking the question, so I want to be thoughtful about an answer.

Let me start with a couple of stories:

Hannah and Akeem

I have a friend, her name is Hannah. She moved to China to teach English to school age kids.It was going to be 6 months, MAYBE a year. While she was in China, she met Akeem, a Nigerian student, studying in China. Hannah never went to China with the intention of meeting Akeem. She went to China for the adventure.

If God can send Hannah from Humbolt county, to China to meet  an African man. Then literally, we cannot begin to author or pen our stories. We have to give in to the wind. Accept and trust that something good is coming for us, in due season. I trust the same God that sent Hannah to China and timed her being there with Akeem studying there, to write my love story.

Hannah is now married to Akeem. They have 3 gorgeous girls and they live in Redding. The end.

Mel and John

I have another friend. Her name is Melissa. She is one of the best people I know. She’s smart, beautiful and funny. Like you and I, she had started wondering, where is my husband?

She went away to school to Australia, pursued 2 degrees, and then when the time was right, came back to America, and actually got a job at the company she was formerly working for.

When she returned, one of her responsibilities was working with the media department. Where she began working with someone she had worked with previously. Pre- Australia.

His name is John.  John and Mel grew up together in the same church. They have known of each other all their lives. One day, John texted Melissa out of nowhere. Suddenly, John wasn’t just John to Melissa anymore, they began dating and fell in love pretty quickly. They are, now married and with a baby on the way.

Here’s my final story:

Jenn and Henry

Henry and Jenn worked together at an electronics company. They were friends, and would joke around a lot.

One day, Jenn had to get her wisdom teeth taken out, and she needed a ride. Henry offered to take her. She says she was acting really goofy inside the mall, and all of a sudden, Henry wasn’t Henry any more. He was more. More turned into married. And two kids later, they’re one of my favorite couples.

Here are my key takeaways from these stories:

Love happens on a day: A random day. You cannot plan it. So obsessing about it  is the equivalent of asking “Are we there yet?” on a road trip when you’re 5. Think I’m wrong? Go ahead ask 5 of your friends whose marriages inspire you, and ask them, how did your love story start. I guarantee they will tell you, it happened on a day.

Be open: This is the single girl annoyance. This single phrase. If I was any more open, I would be a 7-11 at midnight. Try it, throw out your list. There’s a list of expectations you have of the person you will love. Anything having to do with what it looks like. Throw it out. Its my opinion that this list actually hinders you from seeing the love in front of you.

Adventure always has a hero, be the heroine of your story: Get out there, DO THINGS. If all you’re doing is going home everyday and watching “Arrow” reruns on Netflix, you’re doing single wrong. This is the time to get out there and BE places. Change it up.

The greatest love story, is the one you have with yourself. Loving yourself is paramount. Love all your curves and all your edges and stop living an even though life. Even though I’m chubby, even though I didn’t go to college, even though I don’t have money. It is impossible to see someone that truly loves you, if you truly don’t love yourself. You’ll end up settling for someone that doesn’t know how to love you because you are inept to teach them how.

If you’ve done all you can to accept this is where life has you, and to fall madly in love with yourself. Then there really is nothing left to do but:

Accept that its going to work out. Maybe it didn’t this year. Or the year before. But it will. You’re one day closer to your future than you were yesterday.

xoxox,

 

 

 

 

 

 

____K You Life, Love Renee

In honor of 1k followers on instagram, I am excited to share with you, the premise and some excerpts from my new book.

Guys! I am so excited to introduce you to my new work called ___k you life, Love Renee.

Let me explain:

About 3 years ago, I began to experience intense anxiety and panic attacks.  I went from living a very functioning and I thought awesome life, to being in public and wanting to crumble in fits of tears or feeling dizzy because I couldn’t breathe.

Just going to church was a feat. My lower lip would tremble the entire time, and I felt choked and trapped. It was like I was being held hostage in my own body and I had no clue how to get out.

With the help of an amazing Christian therapist, 3 years later (and still going), I can tell you that I have far more good days than bad. I don’t have night tremors hardly ever anymore, and I walk in a confident victory of overcoming through Christ Jesus (yay). I also shopped at Walmart on Christmas Eve and didn’t once have to do breathing exercises!  You can read more about my journey here                                             https://reneepsagon.wordpress.com/2014/08/12/things-that-kill-silently/

Early on in therapy, I was given an exercise to ground me when I was feeling overwhelmed.

Find something to be thankful for and thank God for it.

Its tough when you’re known as the resident jester and “strong” person, and all of a sudden you have functional amnesia and have literally forgotten how to function in crowds or under pressure.

In the early days, my gratitude journal that I wrote grounding thoughts in, grasped for things to be thankful for. Full transparency, I also thought the exercise was dumb and a waste of my time and purse space. Do you know how heavy a blank notebook and self righteousness are to carry around?My early days of journaling read like this:

  • I am thankful for shoes, if God didn’t make shoes, my feet would be wet.
  • I am thankful for condensed milk. If God didn’t make condensed milk, my tummy would be sad

My therapist, who happens to see through all my bull kakadoo, challenged me to really commit.

“Renee if you want to walk in wholeness, can you really say, you’ve done your very best? You’ve done all you can do and given your all to this exercise?”

“The real question is, why you can give everyone your all, and when you’re challenged to give yourself your best, you settle for mediocrity.”

Umm…ewe. Shut up.

I may be many things, but I never back down from a challenge. So I began to give it my all. I really began to try.

Some days were easy, I was thankful for the bonus that I didn’t think I was going to get.

I was thankful to be able to speak in front of crowds of people (whose life is this?)

But sometimes, after thanking God for Jesus, I grasped for things to be thankful for. So with a negative attitude and a negative bank account, I said, what am I going to be thankful for today- Bills?!

But then I thought, why couldn’t I be thankful for bills. There are some people that wish they were my kind of broke. The kind that wish they could live paycheck to paycheck, because sometimes when they get paid, they still don’t have enough. They wish they had rent to pay because they’re living in a shelter.

So on that day, I wrote a thank you note, for the bills I pay:

Lord, I am thankful for rent to pay. I am thankful that every month, even if by miracle, you provide enough for us to have a place to live comfortably. God, bless my landlord, thank God for Nancy, and her graciousness to provide a great place for us to rest our heads. Lord I thank you for the ability to pay my electricity bill, that keeps us cool in the summer and our water warm for our showers.

We spend a lot of time, grappling with the hardships of life, when really, if we meet those things with Thanksgiving, they can be our greatest teachers.

I am excited to introduce:

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The chapters read like letters to some of the hardest things I have had to deal with. Some are funny, some are sad, some I can’t believe I survived. But I am thankful for all.

  • Dear Anxiety
  • Dear Beautiful
  • Dear Depression
  • Dear Dad
  • Dear Jeff
  • Dear Breakup
  • Dear Walmart
  • Dear Cancer, I hate you
  • Dear Road Rage
  • Dear Mean Girls

And a whole section on loves lost and found

  • Dear Aidan
  • Dear One that Got Away
  • Dear Better late than never
  • Dear Cheater

Some chapters include things, I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving for:

  • Dear Sisters
  • Dear Mama
  • Dear Friends

My greatest battles and victories in thank you letters. You can thank ME later. By buying a book. Or 7.

xoxo,

 

 

 

 

 

The Year of Yes! Join my DietBet

Good morning great people! Sometimes I LOVE the Facebook moments thing and sometimes I hate it. Do I really need a reminder that I went to that one thing with that horrible hair? No Facebook I don’t!

But sometimes it’s really motivating! 

This came up on my feed yesterday.

the photo on thr left is taken at Disneyland 5 years ago, the photo on the right is from this year

One of my favorite preachers says, “Thank God, I may not be where I want to be, but thank God, I’m not where I used to be!”

In 5 years, as I’ve blogged here before, I have lost the equivalent of a typical fifth grader, but in total, I would love to lose like 2 kardashains (the small ones like a Kendall and a Kourtney).

In 2016, I’ve decided I’m really gonna go for it! Among other goals and visions I have for my life I want to get as close to my goal weight/size as possible and ultimately, I want to be the healthiest I can be.

I would like to invite you to “lose” with me on DietBet! – if you’re not familiar DietBet is an app and site where you can bet on yourself in a pot with other players, if you reach your goal you get your money back, if you don’t the other players that DO, will split the pot of money. (http://www.dietbet.com)

I like this way of playing best because it’s you against you vs I’m trying to lose more weight than you. One seems like you’re not cheering for everyone else, the other feels like “hey lets go to the gym together and get our money back!”

The goal is to lose 5% of your body weight by the end of January (the game starts January 4th) if you’re unsure how to calculate – take your body weight and multiply by 5% that’s how much your goal to lose is. And that’s a MINIMUM- by all means lose a whole Filipino if you’d like! 

DietBet takes all weights and money, so none of it is on me; and you can manage everything with them directly (anytime I can shirk responsibility I do :)) 

I would love if you joined in on my game- you can find it here –https://www.dietbet.com/games/76025

xoxo,

reneesiggy1

Single Bells – post 2 But Where Is He?

Hiya!

Thanks for all of the comments and discussions from Post 1 of Single Bells.

These conversations are fun right?!

Question #2 I get asked often, is, “Renee, where is he?”

Short answer? “Not here…yet.”

I could make some serious loot if I had  future husband GPS. If I did, I would go up to strangers Long Island Medium style and say, “Hey Tanya, your future husband is at the Target on First Street, in the toothpaste aisle. Hurry! GO NOW!”

But alas, I do not have such GPS.

So you wanna know where your future husband is? I can guarantee you, Continue reading “Single Bells – post 2 But Where Is He?”

Single Bells Single Bells post 1

Sing it with me, you know the words!!

For the past couple of weeks I have been fielding a ton of questions via the website and facebook on how to tackle the lonely feels over the holidays. Or any day for that matter.

I don’t know how exactly I became the poster girl for being single with style- so if someone can fill me in, it’d be great. I’m not complaining, I’m just asking – how does that happen?

For the next 5 days, I’ll tackle the 5 big questions, I get asked often, just in time for the Single Bells.

Let’s get into it:

Why am I still single?

Baby, ease me in. I mean that’s a loaded question. Frankly, I am baffled myself especially cause you’re a total Betty. You are the kind of person that songs are written about and wars are fought for. Let’s face it, you are. If you don’t believe that scroll down to point number 3 below.

Not having met the right person comes down to 3 things in my opinion

1- You’re still dating the counterfeits

Often in the quest for someone, we settle for anyone. So you date just right now guy thinking the following things – “I am just having fun.” “Let me try this” or “There’s no one better around” Continue reading “Single Bells Single Bells post 1”

Ever feel like you’re drowning?

 

Doing something new or being forced into something new can often be overwhelming. Do you remember when you were little and you finally forced yourself to go on the other side of the pool?

You know the other side, when you cross over this invisible line and all of a sudden, your feet can’t feel the floor of the pool.

You have a choice.

Drown or float.

You can keep control if you leave your feet on the floor of the pool. But doing so, you will need to choose. Do I value control more than I value breathing?

Then there is Continue reading “Ever feel like you’re drowning?”

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